


Just a Little Bit of Super Glue

by marlikestoread



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bromance, Depression, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Sad, Self Harm, based of zayn leaving, hopefully happy later on, larry stylinston - Freeform, mentions of self harm, ziam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-10
Updated: 2015-06-10
Packaged: 2018-04-03 18:19:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4110496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marlikestoread/pseuds/marlikestoread
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall starts to self harm again.<br/>Zayn leaves One Direction to attempt to save Niall.<br/>Louis knows everyone's secrets.<br/>Harry attempts to save his and Louis's relationship before management after Zayn and Niall's relationship gets ruined.<br/>Liam's the one who's suppose to hold it together, but right now he's epically failing.</p><p>After Zayn leaves One Direction for reasons unknown to everyone but five people the bands ripped apart. Can they eventually super glue it back together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I think this is the best thing I've written in awhile

"You've been out here for hours."

"I have." it was more of a statement than a question. Zayn's well aware of the time he's been outside. He's freezing and he can hardly feel his toes. He just needed to get away from everyone from anything he needed to think after that wretched phone call threatening the worse. He needed to think for himself and he didn't need anyone around to change his decisions.

He's almost finished his pack of cigarettes, and he's not even that much of a chain smoker. It only get's bad when he's stressed. And he was stressed right now, beyond stressed, and angry.

Everything feels like it's going to shit.

Louis doesn't make a step to leave he has his arms crossed and is looking at Zayn expectantly, as if knowing that if he stands here long enough, Zayn will end up spilling his secrets to him. Louis knows him too well.

"I'm fucked," Zayn says, "Niall's fucked…god damnit we're all fucked."

Louis has his eyebrows raised and takes another step forward hesitantly looking at Zayn. Zayn feels small like some sort of wounded animal.

"Zayn what's wrong?"

Zayn could feel every limb in his body shaking. His heart racing. His mind moving too fast for the rest of his body to catch up and he doesn't know what's happening when suddenly the world is spinning.

He thinks he falls down because next thing he knows he's on the ground Louis has a tight arm around his shoulder and Zayn's head is resting on Louis's shoulder as Louis runs his other hand through Zayn's hair. Louis is talking to him in a sharp voice which sounds panicked and totally calm at the same time.

"Deep breaths," Zayn hears Louis instruct, "C'mon breathe mate. Deep breaths."

Zayn's shallow breathing somewhat controls himself but he has tears and his eyes and he's crying silent tears.

"What in bloody hell's got you so worked up?" It would sound angry and annoyed if it came from anyone else. But it came from Louis. And Louis sounds concerned.

"The press found out about Niall's past in self harm."

Louis stiffens at the mention of it. IT's always been a taboo topic in the band. They all know it happened. Niall admitted it after a few shows in the X Factor. OF course none judged him for it and assured him he wasn't a freak, and told him how they were going to be there for him and get him past it. IT was Zayn who really got him through it. Got him to stop. Eventually Zayn and Niall bonded in a close friendship that of course blossomed into a romantic relationship. Zayn doesn't like to admit out loud a lot (he supposes he just has a major problem with acknowledged his feelings) but he's in love with Niall. He's do anything for Niall. IT was Zayn who in the end saved Niall and made him happy again. Sure the other boys helped but they just didn't seem to get it like Zayn did. They hardly talk about it anymore. In fact the problem was almost forgotten a thing of the long past. Because Niall as happy now. Niall was okay now.

IF the press found out and eventually the world found out Niall would be mortified. Even if they had no real proof just the reminder could send him into a downward spiral. Fuck the rest of the band and the problems with management. Niall just may be destroyed by this.

"Fuck," Louis says, "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck…"

"I made an agreement," Zayn states, "I…I leave the band and they're the first to let out my statement. First to hear what I have to say about leaving. First to leak out a 'solo song' of me singing. First to write a report on how One Direction hates Zayn after leaving and how Zayn hates them. To get insider information about twitter feuds. To write a big insider story about me and Perrie's wedding. I give them the rights to destroy my image, to destroy me and they leave Niall alone."

"Zayn you can't do that," Louis says, "That much bad media attention-"

"I can handle it," Zayn says, "As long as I know it's not real."

"How about Niall will he be in on it?"

"No," Zayn says ,"He'll try to be brave and shit and he'll pretend the world knowing about his past in Self Harm doesn't matter, and he'll let himself down the path to shit. I can't let him dot hat. I have to protect him."

"You don't really," Louis says, "Look I don't want Niall to get hurt either, but your talking about leaving the band. Leaving what you've worked up to for almost five years. Your talking about breaking up with Niall. Don't you think that will crush him…don't you think that will crush you."

"Niall will have you three," Zayn says, "I trust you'll be there to protect him."

"Well who will you have!" Louis snaps suddenly, "Zayn your going to get hurt. Your literally going to break your own heart!"

"If… that saves Niall…I'll," Zayn's choking back sobs, "I'll be okay. You'd…do the same…for…Harry, don't you fucking deny it."

Louis shakes his head, because he can't deny it. So instead of giving Zayn a pointless argument he just wraps his arms around his younger friend allowing Zayn to just break and burry his face into his neck, crying the sorrows of heartbreak.***

Zayn determines he's an idiot, he tells the band that he's leaving. He already talked it over with management and that they're going to set everything up to look like he's taking a break for a few weeks. Than drop the bomb that he's leaving a few weeks later. Of course the idiotic part was telling them through text, because the moment he see's Niall face he knows he'll spill the beans. And he knows how Niall will react.

He only told five people about what's really going on, why he's actually leaving. Louis, his mum, his dad, his sister, and the girl he's about to fake marry Perrie.

He loves Perrie- not in the way everyone thinks of course. Perrie's more like a sister than anything else. The two laugh and drink together. But never once has he even wanted to sleep with her or do anything of the sorts like that. And he's even Bi, so it's not like he's not attracting to females.. Just Perrie's different. Perrie is just like his best friend. The two have dealt with a lot of shit. There's random cheating rumors going around (which is actually quite ironic considering he's not even actually dating Perrie) there's talk on how he's just a disrespectful dog. Honestly those things never bothered him, his own image never bothered him. But the moment someone threatened Niall's image. That's when he wanted to rip someone's head off.

He already missed Niall. He's only been gone for a few hours, but he already misses him.

***

Niall doesn't remember how long he stares at the text but next thing he knows someone's sipped into his room and is sitting on his bed close to him. He feels someone carefully tug the phone away from Niall's hands and he's met with Louis's blue eyes.

"Ni…I don't even know what to say, I just…I can't even imagine what your feeling right now."

Niall leans forward slightly and drops his head into Louis's lap curling into a bawl…to shocked-too upset to even cry. Louis runs a hand through his hair and he hears who he assumes Harry and Liam coming in. He feels several hands. Rubbing circles into his back. Squeezing his hands.

"Broken," he mumbles, "I feel broken."


	2. Chapter 2

Niall sometimes wonders if he's out of control. Days turn into a blur. He pretends to be happy. He posts on his instagram and Twitter for the sake of his bandmates, so they think he hasn't fallen back into that deep whole of depression he climbed out of what felt like forever ago. When Zayn was there to hold him together. When Liam, or Louis or Harry check up on him for the thirty-millionth time that day he always tells them he's okay. Than proceeds to joke around, pretending he was there Niall and not the monster he felt like.

He cut only a few days after returning back to London. IT was actually an accident. Well not really an accident. He was cutting up some vegetables when he just ran the blade lightly across the wrist because he was curious if it just felt the same. It was light enough that it didn't scar and it healed after a few days and after that he kept his cuts to his hips. Where no one would see. Where he didn't want people to see. He was okay. He just…he was fine. He had to be fine he had to be fine for everyone.

HE didn't cry as much as he always expected he would if Zayn ever left him. He distracted himself with self inflicted pain and writing music on those days him and Liam would meet him. He would pretend like Zayn didn't leave. Everyone else did too because they were in just as much as a denial as Niall was in.

Then the twitter feud happened.

No one liked Naughty Boy, not even Zayn. The friendship was just as fake as Perrie and Zayn's relationship. But a few days after he left Zayn and Naughty Boy started to hang out again. And suddenly (after a stupid joke Liam made) Naughty Boy posted a picture of Zayn with a snarky response.

Louis responded.

Naughty Boy and Louis got into an argument.

In the end it was Zayn who broke it up in the most crude and hurtful way by bluntly telling Louis to 'Get a Life, and stop making bitchy comments about his'. It didn't even sound like Zayn at first. Because Niall knows Zayn hates mean girls and that was in fact a 'mean girls' quote. But he looks at the name again and again. It was Zayn. It was fucking Zayn.

Zayn his ex boyfriend. 

Zayn was gone and he was different and he was insulting Louis and he was insulting the fans and in a way throwing the relationship Niall and Zayn once had in Niall's face and before he knows it he's back in the bathroom with his rasor and he doesn't lock the door and he doesn't hear the front door open or Harry call Niall's name and it's not until Harry's slaps the blade out of Niall's hand away from Niall's hip bone that he realizes that Harry's there.

He doesn’t look angry. Niall wanted Harry to be angry with him. He wanted Harry to scream at him. Harry just looks sad and Niall's crying now.

"Oh babe," Harry says and he's pulled Niall into a hug and pulls him across his own lap like Niall was a small child stroking his hair, "I'm sorry. We should have checked and made sure you didn't relapse sooner. We're sorry. Zayn's an idiot. He's an asshole. I'm so sorry."

Niall didn't know why Harry was sorry out of all people. Harry. But Niall didn't have the willpower to respond so Niall just clutches Harry and buries his face into Harry's neck wishing desperately it was Zayn.

***  
Zayn's starting to hate himself. He really is. He's an asshole.

He see's Louis's caller ID on his phone and it only takes him a few moments to pick up.

"Hello," Zayn's voice cracks and he hears Louis sigh on the other side of phone telling Zayn that Louis realizes that Zayn's crying. Which Zayn hates.

"Hey mate," Louis sounds a little broken ,"A mean girls quote."

"Didn't even write it," Zayn says, "They have access to my Twitter."

"Oh…oh," Louis says, "Makes sense."

"Yeah," Zayn says, "This is a whole hell of a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. You can say I told you so if you really want to."

"I want to," Louis says, "But I wont."

"How's Niall?" Zayn always asks it. He needs to make sure Niall's okay. This is all for Niall.

"That's what I called you about…" Louis says and he hears what Zayn thinks is a sniff, "He relapsed Zayn…H..harry found him at home in his bathroom cutting his hip. Just like he used to when we first met him."

"Oh god," Zayn bites his lip and tries not to sob out he fails and makes a wretched noise. 

"I'm sorry," Louis says, "I said I'd protect him…I just missed it. He seemed okay. Not okay but he seemed to be coping I didn't know. I should have known he has a fucking past with depression."

"No…no," Zayn says between gulps of breaths, "It's my fault, I broke his heart…I ruined him. I'm a horrible-"

"No Zayn," Louis says, "His relapse would have been ten times worse if you didn't take the deal. Don't think about other things. Okay. You broke your own heart in the process of doing all this. So guilt is something you shouldn't be feeling."

"Okay," Zayn says. He doesn't believe Louis, but there's no real point in arguing with him.

"Zayn."

"Yeah."

"This is going to sound weird, because we're not in a huggy type of friendship. But I really just want to go over there and hug you right now."

"I wish you could."

Of course they couldn't not with paparazzi these days.

"I wish I could tell Niall," Zayn says, "Explain why I have to hurt him."

"You can," Louis assures, "Someday, when the band is over and all this is behind us."

"You think me and Niall could ever be together again?" Zayn sounds small.

"Yeah…yeah," Louis says, "You and Niall are soal mates. I doubt you could really love anyone else."  
***  
Harry felt sick. He felt like a horrible friend. How could he not have seen this sooner. Niall just seemed so…okay. He bounced back fast, faster than anyone else. Maybe that should have been everyone's first clue. But everyone was just so tied up in the loss of Zayn that they hardly had time to think of anyone else.

So many cuts and so many faded scars. Niall had his shirt off now. Sound asleep on Harry's bed. Niall drove him to Harry's house a few hours after finding him. He decided it'd be better if Niall stayed with Louis and Harry for now on instead of being alone. Zayn used to watch over him, even before they were in a relationship. 

His phone buzzed and he see's a picture of Liam with his long hair show up. Things were all simpler then, when Liam had hair.

"Hey Harry," Liam says slowly, "You called?"

"Uh…yeah…yeah..just a second."

"Okay…"

Harry removes his hand from a sleeping Niall's hand and slips out of the room.

"It's about Niall," Harry says slowly, "I found him…and he relapsed."

"Shit," Liam mumbles from the other side of his phone, "I thought he was doing good after… We fucked up Harry, me you, Louis and…and Zayn. Especially Zayn. I ought to-"

"Do what?" Harry cuts him off, "Call him. Tell him how much he just screwed over Niall. How he just broke the poor lad's heart?"

He hears Liam huff and then he hears a strangled noise, "Why'd he have to leave? I don't get it."

"Louis says he was unhappy," Harry says.

"Well why'd he talk to Louis about this. Why didn't he talk to all of us. Why couldn't we have figured out something to work… he could have tried not to break Niall's heart. He loved him-he was in love with him and he just left. It doesn't make sense. There has to be something else?"

"I don't know," Harry says, "I really wish I did Liam."

"Can…I come over there and see him?" Liam asks.

"HE's asleep," Harry states, "And I don't think it's a good idea to talk about it for another day or two until Twitter slows down a little bit."

"Yeah," Liam says, "I know. I just need to see him…to see him for myself."

Harry got it, he had to make sure Niall was still okay still alive. He had to ease his own nerves. Whenever Zayn would inform the rest of the band that Niall's relapsed Harry was the same way. Feeling so helpless and afraid that Niall's completely wrecked himself this time that Niall's really ended it all and Zayn's just in some sort of denial that Niall's in the morgue instead of resting up at home.

"Of course, bring some food though, Louis should be home soon."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually really like this story so far

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you think I should continue this!


End file.
